{"id":2211,"date":"2020-11-11T16:53:38","date_gmt":"2020-11-11T16:53:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theduff.co.uk\/?p=2211"},"modified":"2020-11-18T11:42:34","modified_gmt":"2020-11-18T11:42:34","slug":"feeling-lonely-infertility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theduff.co.uk\/feeling-lonely-infertility\/","title":{"rendered":"How to cope with loneliness<\/strong> when you want a baby"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cIf you want kids, take mine\u2026 please!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry that you\u2019re not pregnant yet: it\u2019ll happen when you least expect it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy go through fertility treatment if you can just adopt?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI really want a girl next time. I\u2019m so fed up with boys.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Loneliness can reach astonishing depths when you\u2019re struggling to conceive<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If fertility problems aren\u2019t enough to make you feel like an outsider, you also have to deal with the frequent well-meant but tone-deaf comments of people who have zero idea what you\u2019re going through \u2013 whether you tell them what you\u2019re dealing with or not. It\u2019s not their fault, of course, but it can sometimes feel like a real punch in the gut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I experienced the loneliness firsthand. Before my successful fertility treatment (on seventh try), I can remember how alone I felt in a world full of bumps, buggies, and those so-smug-I-want-to-kill-someone \u201cBaby on Board\u201d stickers I\u2019d see on every fricking car. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the past, it\u2019s been SO hard to find friends in the same position<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I desperately wanted to find women who understood, but I didn\u2019t know a single person in real life who was going through fertility treatment too. There are IVF forums and Facebook groups, of course, but those sites are more about advice (and judgement) than empathy and deep understanding.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until recently, there was nothing that met those needs. Thankfully, that\u2019s just changed. Big time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Introducing Peanut: the first app to help you connect with other women who are trying to conceive<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"Screenshots<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Peanut<\/strong><\/a> gives women who are \u201cfertility challenged\u201d (my words) a chance to connect and befriend others who are going through similar experiences as you right now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to a \u201cmessage board\u201d\/IVF forum element (in which you can ask for advice and tips from other women on the platform), Peanut allows you to connect with and have personal, one-on-one conversations with other users via the app. You could even meet them in real life for a socially distanced cuppa. (Proximity is baked into the algorithm, so you\u2019ll start by seeing profiles of people who live nearby.)\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is what makes Peanut so different from everything else: it\u2019s about tackling the loneliness and isolation of being the only infertile person you know. It\u2019s about forming bonds with women who understand what you\u2019re going through, and who may well live down the road from you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Profiles<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Of course, if all you have in common is that you both live in Watford and want a baby, that might not be enough to form a through-the-ages friendship. That\u2019s why user profiles are so helpful: every time you tap to \u201cdiscover more women nearby\u201d within the app, you\u2019ll be able to learn more about them. You\u2019ll see their personal bio, photos, a summary of their interests, recent posts they\u2019ve written, and Peanut discussion \u201cgroups\u201d they\u2019ve joined (such as \u201cTTC: UK\u201d, \u201cLesbians TTC\u201d, \u201c2 week wait\u201d, \u201cTTC with PCOS\u201d, \u201cLadies with anxiety and depression support group\u201d and \u201cRainbow baby\u201d, among others).  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, if you like the look of any of these profiles and want to connect, you simply \u201cswipe up\u201d or tap \u201cwave\u201d to show your interest. If they \u201cwave\u201d back, you can start chatting through the app. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Download the Peanut app today<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Peanut is new to the TTC community, but it\u2019s already thriving<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve been thinking \u201cHang on\u2026 \u2018Peanut\u2019 rings a bell. Isn\u2019t that an app for mothers<\/em> to meet each other?\u201d you\u2019d be right. Peanut began life as an app for new mothers looking to find friends \u2013 and it\u2019s only in the past year that it\u2019s created a community for the TTC crowd too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And users love it…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Testimonials<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Join Peanut for free<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Considering Peanut is so new, there\u2019s already an impressive number of people and activity in the fertility-focused parts of the app. And the more people the better: it gives us all a greater chance of finding and connecting with like-minded \u201cnot-yet-mums\u201d.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Message<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So please\u2026 join Peanut<\/strong><\/a> and give it a go. Then please share this page with any IVF forums and groups where you think other women would be interested (so they can find out what it\u2019s about and then join if they\u2019re keen).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Struggling with fertility is hard; let\u2019s try to find friends and support each other through it<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I wish I\u2019d had something like Peanut: the loneliness of my infertility was all-consuming at times, and I\u2019d have loved to have chatted with women who \u201cgot it\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re feeling equally lonely right now, you have nothing to lose by trying it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign up for Peanut (it's free!)<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf you want kids, take mine\u2026 please!\u201d  \u201cDon\u2019t worry that you\u2019re not pregnant yet: it\u2019ll happen when you least expect it.\u201d  \u201cWhy go through fertility treatment if you can just adopt?\u201d  \u201cI really want a girl next time. I\u2019m so fed up with boys.\u201d Loneliness can reach astonishing depths when you\u2019re struggling to conceive If … Read more How to cope with loneliness<\/strong> when you want a baby<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2259,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to cope with loneliness when you want a baby<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It can feel incredibly lonely when you're trying to conceive. 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